C25K W1 D1 !!

For those of you who don't speak Diva that is Couch to 5K Week 1 Day 1 and it's OVER! While my intention for this blog is to write about all of my crafty endeavors I felt like this deserved mention, along with a little more about my life. Besides I've been slow on the sewing front lately and this is what I've got LOL.

I have been plotting and planning my running revival for quite some time. Even tried to execute it more than once over the last 5 years. I always feel like I should be right back to that 13:06 2 mile run from basic training. The Army one not the fake girlie gym one. Might I mention here that I was 19 (um, more than 5 years ago LOL) at that time and weighed about 124 pounds, I don't believe it but that's what my military ID said. I have since had 3 babies and gained a little bit of weight successively with each one. I know this. I know I can't do what I did then. Ask me to do any number of things I did then (like close down the dance clubs hit Denny's and get to work just in time for 5 hours of lifeguard duty without passing out) and I would tell you I am TOO old for that stuff. When I hit the pavement, however, I have this drive to run faster and harder than my body is capable of. This generally ends up in a frustrated and sore me vowing my hatred of the sport and swearing it off, at least until the longing to be that runner I once was returns after I read a friend's FB status saying they are running 6 miles in the mountains or just got home from a run on the beach.

The Couch to 5K program was made for ME. The basic gist is that people start running and push themselves too far too fast and then throw in the towel. Yup. That's me. It gives you a running schedule that is designed to move your slow, under exercised rear end from the comfy couch to running a full on 5K in just 9 weeks (3 days a week). The program starts slowly running and walking in 2-3 minute intervals for the first week. There are even podcasts you can download onto your ipod to help you time yourself so you're not watching a stop watch constantly and an iphone app that lets you run to your own music and gives you cues to switch from running to walking.

Today was the first day of my first week as a runner (reborn) it was challenging ,especially w/ some of the inclines in my route, but I feel better. Energized. My podcasts weren't properly downloaded in my ipod so I ended up just listening to my playlist, checking the time of the songs to make sure I wasn't running for a 6 minute song and walking for 2. My intervals were a little longer than the scheduled 2 minutes running 3 minutes walking that is suggested because of this and on more than one long run I felt like quiting even though I knew it was the last verse or even chorus. When I felt like quitting I thought of something I heard Jillian Michaels say on "Losing it with Jillian" ( I really wanted to hate that show but it's acutally pretty moving and motivating) This woman who had asked for help because she was overweight and unhealthy was on the treadmill. Jillian, in true Jillian fashion, was riding her HARD and the woman cried to her "You're killing me!!!" Jillian said "No. YOU'RE killing you" . Those words rang through my head every time I wanted to stop. I have done this to myself and I am the only one who can undo it and I can't run farther, run faster or lose weight if I give up. There's no Jillian, no, drill sargeants, no one to hold my hand or yell in my face. It's just me and my ipod (have I said how much I love my ipod?)

I have to love me enough to push myself to do my best. Not just running but everything. Things have been kind of crazy around here. Stressful. I'm worried about whether or not to move or if it'll even be a choice. I was planning on starting school in January and that has been pushed back. A lot of things just seemed uncertain and unfair. I think my podcasts didn't work on purpose. I had to listen to my playlist and just at the last run I was trying to skip to an upbeat one and I went back to the beginning of my playlist, which turned out to be a good song to run to so I just left it even though it was over 4 minutes. That was the run that I really thought about what Jillian said and realized it wasn't just about KILLING yourself but not LOVING yourself. Something I have always struggled with, being ok with who I am no matter what. Maybe I'll never reach those goals; weight loss, school, new career etc... until I figure that out. As soon as my last run was over and a sigh of relief was breathed I heard, crescendoing slowly from my earphones, "Love, Love, Love" the next song was "All you Need is Love" and as I walked my cool down walk to the house I REALLY listened to the words because they seemed to have been a message for me. I'll post them here so you can read them. Maybe they will help you remember too that sometimes all you need is love.

'All You Need Is Love' The Beattles
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy

There's nothing you can make that can't me made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)
(Love, love, love)

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

There's nothing you can know that isn't known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

All you need is love, all together now
All you need is love, everybody
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

Love is all you need
Love is all you need
Love is all you need
...